We find out that the very first practice stage kiss that Cynthia and Lydia have in 1x05 at the Halloween party is sort of Cynthia’s gay awakening since she had never kissed a girl before butit was not Lydia’s gay awakening. In episode 10 she tells Cynthia that she met a girl at summer stock who she would meet behind the cabins and kiss until the girl started pretending like it never happened. The point is: Lydia already knew she was gay before meeting Cynthia.
During the Halloween party she goes into the room where she knows Cynthia is and greets her by name. Cynthia, who is in a full ant costume, asks how Lydia knew it was her and she says she studies her gait. She tells her she walks “like a neurotic pigeon”, trying to play it off. I don’t know about any of you, but I would not be studying anyone if I didn’t have some kind of interest in them. You don’t pay THAT much attention to someone who you’re indifferent to or who annoys you.
She recognized that Cynthia was gay (whether or not Cynthia realized it herself) the moment she met her and that is when I think the interest started. Even if it was just in the back of her mind at first, I think it was immediately there. That is why she followed Cynthia into the room that night and then ultimately offered to kiss her. It was the perfect setup. She could kill two birds with one stone:help Cynthia with the play AND prove something to herself. “The quicker you get something over with, the less of a deal it becomes in your mind.”This is what she tells Cynthia about the kiss but it has a double meaning. The obvious one is that the quicker Cynthia practices the kiss the less nervous she will be on stage during the play. The second is what Lydia wants to prove to herself: the quicker she kisses Cynthia, the less of a deal Cynthia will be in her mind and then she’ll stop thinking about her and be able to move on.
Before watching episode 10 where it’s revealed that Lydia had kissed a girl before and already knew she was gay, I had assumed that both Lydia and Cynthia’s looks of realization immediately following the kiss were for the same reason: gay awakening. But after episode 10 we know that this isn’t the case for Lydia. Cynthia’s realization is that she likes kissing girls (even if she didn’t/couldn’t fully acknowledge it at the time due to internalized homophobia and/or compulsory heterosexuality), Lydia’s realization is that she likes kissing Cynthia (she already knows she likes kissing girls). She wanted it to feel like “kissing a wall” but it didn’t. It was the exact opposite. She then knew that she had to give in to her feelings for Cynthia. It was game over. It started out as a way to protect her heart. A one and done kiss and she would be free of these feelings but it backfired and proved the exact opposite. To echo Cynthia’s words in 1x10 there was “no going back now.”
Kara literally looks like she’s about to risk it all and kiss Lena right there in front of everyone! The ways she looks and Lena, the way she glances down at the her lips, the ways she leans in! The tension!! The ACTING CHOICES! This was a MOMENT.
(close up) Bonus:
The way Kara LINGERS. Her eyes searching Lena’s and briefly glancing down at her lips. And look at the movement of Kara’s lips. It’s like she’s physically restraining herself and forcing herself to hold back because her whole body is gravitating towards Lena the moment Lena starts to step away. If they were the only two people in that room… you can’t tell me something wouldn’t have happened.
“I think it was Melissa, actually, who first told me. I’ve played quite a few characters that have either been gay or they’ve had, you know, some very obvious gay undertones, and to be completely honest, this was the first time I was like, ‘Well, this role doesn’t have any!’ You’re laughing now — how naive was I? And then after the first episode… I go back and I watch and I was like, ‘Oh, yeah, now I can see it. That makes sense to me.’”
“It’s funny because sometimes it’s so obvious when you’re playing it. You read it and you’ve got the characters and you’re like, ‘Oh, yeah, I know this is going to happen.’ And then there are other times… and [with Lena/Kara] honestly, it just didn’t even enter into my head. But then you get the response and you go back and you’re like, ‘Yeah, I can see where that came from.’ It doesn’t bother me at all.”(x)
- a.k.a Katie apparently not realizing early on that she was blatantly flirting during her scenes with Melissa in season 2
This is so funny, cause Katie I can excuse cause most of her characters are very gay, but Melissa? I just love their chemistry, it made a thousand times gayer ahahahah
